The Bride's Boon


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  • The Bride's Boon


  • Marriage Is an Act of Worship

     

    Marriage as Allah's Favors[1]

     

    Qur'anic verses:

     

    The legal basis for marriage, prior to scholarly consensus and the Sunnah is such Qur'anic verses as,

     

    ({[And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.)}

     [Al-Rum: 21]

     

    {It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell[2] with her (in love).}

     [AI-A`raf: 189]

     

    The Superiority of Marriage

    Qur'anic verses:

     

    {Marry women of your choice, two or three, or four; But if ye tear that ye shall not be able to deal Justly (with them) then only one, or that which your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.}

     [Al-Nisa': 3]

     

    {They are your garments and ye are their garments.}[3]

     [Al-Baqarah: 187]

     

    {Then marry women of your liking, two, three, four}

     [An-Nisa': 3]

     

    Prophetic Hadiths:

     

    "When a man gets married, he gets one half of the religion. Thus, he should tear Allah in the other half.”[4]

     (Reported by Al-Baihaqi)

     

     Abdullah Ibn 'Amr Ibn al-'As reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said, "The worldly life is an enjoyment, the best enjoyment of which is a righteous woman."

    [Narrated by Muslim and An-Nisa'i]

     

    Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said, "There are three people whom Allah will surely help: a warrior in the cause of Allah, a slave who wants to free himself by a payable contract and whoever seeks chastity by marriage."[5]

     [Narrated by At- Tirmidhi]

     

     

    Chastity

     

    Qur'anic verses:

     

    {Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah gives them means out of His grace.}

    [Al-Nur: 33]

     

    Prophetic Hadiths:

     

        'Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said, "O you young people! Whoever can afford marriage should marry,[6] for that will help him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse, etc.). Whoever is not able to marry is recommended to fast, as fasting diminishes (his) sexual power".

     [Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

     

     

    Women Are on the Top of Worldly Enjoyment

    Qur’anic verses:

    {And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love[7] and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.)}

     [Al-Rum: 21]

     

    Prophetic Hadiths

    "What I like (most) of your world is three things: women, perfume and prayer, which is the dearest thing to my eye."

     [Reported by Al-Nasa'i and Ahmad]

     

     

    Misconception of Worship

    Prophetic Hadiths:

     

    Anas Ibn Malik reports:

    "A group of three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (pbuh) asking how the Prophet (pbuh) worshipped Allah, and when they were informed about that, they considered their worship insufficient and said, "Where are we from the Prophet (pbuh) as his past and future sins have been forgiven." Then one of them said, "I will perform Prayer throughout the night forever." The other said, 'I. will fast throughout the year." The third said, "I will keep away from women and will not marry forever." Allah's Apostle (pbuh) came to them and said, "Are you the same people who said so and so? By Allah, I fear Allah and I am conscious of Him better than you; yet I fast and break my fast, I perform Prayer and sleep, and I (also) marry women. So he who does not follow my Sunnah (tradition) is not from me (i.e. not one of my followers).”[8]

     [Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslin]

     

    "The Prophet (pbuh) declared Salman and Abu Darda' brothers. One day, Salman visited Abu Darda'. He found his wife wearing shabby clothesHe asked her, "What is the matter with you Umm Darda'?" She said, "Your brother, Abu Darda' stands in prayer all the night and fasts all the day. He no longer wants anything from this worldly life. Then Abu Darda' came back greeted him and had some food prepared for him. Salman said, "You have to eat with me" Abu Darda' said, "I am fasting." But Salman swore an oath that he must eat with him" Accordingly, they ate together. At night, Abu Darda' wanted to spend the night in prayer but Salman asked him not to do (in that night). Then, he said, "Your body has a right over you and your wife has a right over you. Observe the fast sometimes and also leave it (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also approach your wife at another night. Thus you have to give every thing its right. In the morning Abu Darda' told the Prophet (pbuh) what Salman had done with him. The Prophet (pbuh), repeating Salman statement, said, "Abu Darda'! Your body has a right over you...”

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Tirmidhi]

     

     

     

    [1] Life is tough without enjoyment. One of the main objectives of marriage is the preservation and continuation of the human race. Such an objective is encouraged by instinct and the processes of nature for the procreation of the human species.

     

    [2] Husband-wife relationship is not merely a utilitarian relationship. It is a spiritual relationship and sustains and generates love, kindness, mercy, compassion, mutual confidence, self-sacrificesolace and succour. It is to attain Psychological, emotional and spiritual companionship.

     

    [3] Men and women are each other's garments: i.e., they are of mutual support, mutual comfort, and mutual protection, fitting into each other as a garment fits the body. A garment also is both of show and concealment. This emphasizes their sameness, their oneness, something much more sublime than legal equality. The husband and the wife are described as each other's raiment, not one as the garment and the other the body. A garment is something nearest to the human body; it is that part of the external world which becomes a part at' our being. Such is the closeness of the relationship between the spouses. Dress is something that covers the body and protects it. The spouses are protectors and guardians at each other. The dress beautifies the wearer. One feels oneself incomplete without it. Husband and wife complement each other; one completes and prefects and beautifies the other. This relationship also protects the morals-without this shield one is exposed to the dangers of illicit carnality.

     

    [4] Through marriage a Muslim can find his soul mate. Spouses complete each other. Therefore, it is recommended for those who want to marry to choose their partners very well. Then, they would rather perform two rak'ats and say the following supplication:

    "O Allah, I ask You, of Your knowledge, for guidance and of Your power, for strength; and I ask You Your great generosity. Certainly You are Powerful and I am not, and You are the Knower of the unknown. O Allah, if You know this matter to be good for my religion, my worldly life, my life in the next world then decree it for me and make it easy, and bless me in it. And if You know this matter to be detrimental to my religion, my worldly life, my life in the next world, then divert it from me, and turn me away from it, and decree for me that which is good, wherever it may be. And then make me pleased with it.

     

    [5] Ibn Mas'ud says, "If I would live for no longer than ten days, I would marry lest I fall into a trial."

     

    [6] 'Some scholars argue that marriage is a recommended act. They analyzed the imperative mode of the Qur'anic verses and the Prophetic Hadiths as referring to one's desirability and approval. Actually, in marriage, people are of three categories:

    1. A) A man who fears to approach an unlawful woman or any other forbidden sexual outlet because of sexual desire. For such a man it is obligatory to marry in order to protect his religion and keep himself away from the unlawful.
    2. B)It is recommended for a Muslim who has desire for sexual intercourse but he can suppress it, to marry. Being occupied with marriage is better than indulging into supererogatory devotional acts. sexual intercourse but he can suppress it, to marry. Being occupied with marriage is better than indulging into supererogatory devotional acts.
    3. C) A man, who does not need marriage i.e., he is undesirous of it because of a physical defect like impotence or he might no longer have desire because of old age or a chronic illness. Such a person may apply either one of these two opinions:

    1) He is recommended to marry for the above reasons.

    It is superior for him to devote himself to worship instead. This is because he cannot fulfill marital duties and further he might detain his wife who could have such duties done for her by another one.

    [7] This glorious Qur'anic verse points out that the man-­woman relationship is not merely for sexual pleasure. It is a spiritual relationship and sustains and generates love, kindness, mercy and compassion.

     

    [8] It turns out that the above Hadith encourages marriage and warns whoever neglects it. Whoever neglects it does not stick to the Islamic principles. Such a person will only be preoccupied with suppressing his desire. Ibn 'Abbas said, " You would better marry. To spend one day in marriage is better than one full-year of worship. Ibn Mas'ud said while suffering from plague, "Let me marry. I do not like to meet Allah non-married." Ahmad Ibn Hanbal also said, "I dislike to spend a night without a wife."

     

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