Beware of falling in love with appearances; such love
is beset with anxiety and perpetual misery. It is a blessing for a Muslim that he
stays away from messages found in lyrics and music, messages about ardent love,
unrequited love, or separation from one's object of love.
(Have you seen him who takes his own lust [vain
desires] as his [god], and Allah knowing [him as such], left him astray and
sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his
sight.) (Qur'an 45: 23)
In reproaching himself, an Arab poet wrote the
"l am the one who has brought death a knocking, Then
who is to blame when the murdered is the murderer."
He is blaming himself for the perpetual pain and
misery that he experienced, finally recognizing that by falling in passionate
love --- and then by not being able to fall out of it --- he alone was to blame
for his woes.
(And if an evil whisper comes to you from Satan then
seek refuge with Allah.) (Qur'an 7: 200)
(Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqo0n [the pious], when
an evil thought comes to them from Satan, they remember [Allah], and [indeed]
they then see [aright].) (Qur'an 7: 201)
Ibn al-Qayyim expounded on this topic in his book The
Disease and the Cure. He mentioned a number of factors that contribute to one
falling hopelessly and uncontrollably in love. Among them are the following:
l. An empty heart that is bereft of love for Allah,
remembrance of Him, and fear of Him.
2. Allowing one's eyes to wander and stare. The eye is
a scout that can bring back misery to the heart.
(Tell the believing men to lower their gaze from
looking at forbidden things].) (Quran 24:
A look is an arrow from the arrows of the Devil. An
Arab poet said:
"When you allow your eyes to wander ahead as a
scout, Looking at all eyes and stares will then follow, Seeing that which you
are not capable of embracing completely, While not being patient for getting
3. being negligent in worship --- especially in
remembrance, supplication, and prayer.
(Verily, As-Salaat (the prayer)
prevents from Al-Fahsha [i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawjul sexual
intercourse, etc] and Al-Munkar [i.e. disbelief polytheism, and every kind of evil
wicked deed, etc.)
(Quran 29: 45)