(Only those are the
believers who have believed in Allah and His Messenger and afterward doubt
not….) (Qur'an 49: 15)
As for others:
(So in their doubts they
waver) (Qur'an 9: 45)
There was a man who for four
years could not decide whether he should divorce his mean and cruel wife.
Finally, he went to a wise person to seek advice. The latter asked how long he
had been married to her, and the man answered, "Four years." The wise
man was astonished and said, "For four years now you have been sipping poison!"
It goes without saying that
patience and forbearance are called for in situations similar to that of the
previous story, but until when?
At what point do we say,
'Enough!' A sensible person has a good idea whether the ending of such a
relationship is good or not, and then he takes action.
Confusion and hesitancy
attack people in many different situations, but in the following four
l. Deciding upon a major in
studies; a person who is weak in making decisions will be uncertain of which
faculty to enter. Some people remain undecided even after the deadline for
registration has passed. Others study in a faculty for one or two years and
then transfer to another; at first, they will be leaning towards religious
studies, then economics, then medicine --- gradually wasting away their life in
lf the same person had
consulted others who have more wisdom and experience than he does, and had
sought guidance from Allah, he would have made better use of his time.
2. Deciding upon an
appropriate job. Some people cannot pinpoint the most suitable job for their
temperament. They move from job to job, always dissatisfied with the previous
one. Finally, they decide to go into business for themselves. This kind of
wavering often leads to financial instability.
I say to such people, "If
you are comfortably earning money in the profession you work in, you should
stick to it."
3. Marriage. Many young
people are in confusion, finding it difficult to choose their partner. In this
regard, one can easily be influenced by the opinions of others. Sometimes the
father deems a particular girl to be worthy of marriage, and the son agrees;
however, the mother demurs. (The scenarios are endless concerning choosing a
My advice concerning
marriage in particular is that one should wait until he is satisfied with a
girl's religion, looks, and character, because in the case of marriage, we are
talking about a woman's life, not some trifle to be discarded when one gets
4. Confusion and lack of
resolve are common to people who are contemplating divorce. One day, the
husband might decide that separation is better, and on another day, he decides
that things can be worked out.
The lack of peace in
one's life that results from this kind of wavering has to be amended by a
resolute decision. Life is short, so we should all try to do our part in making
every moment of life a happy one, both for ourselves and for those around us