Overlooking the faults of one’s brothers

 

(Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish [i.e. don’t punish them].)                               (Qur'an 7: 199)

 

It is not right for you to forsake your brother because of one or two faults that you find in him, especially if the rest of his character is honorable. As we know, perfection for any one of us is unattainable.

 

Al-Kindi said:

"How is it that you want your friend to possess a specific pattern of characteristics when your soul ------ which is the closest of souls to you --- does not always obey your commands. What right do you then have to expect another person’s soul to follow your orders."

 

(Even as he is now so were you yourselves before till Allah conferred on you His Favors (i.e. guided you to Islam)…)                   (Qur’an 4: 94)

 

(So ascribe not purity to yourselves. He knows best him who fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him.)                              (Qur’an: 53: 32)

 

It is enough for you that you are satisfied with the main part of your brother’s character. Abu Darda (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

 

"To reproach your brother for something is better than to lose him altogether?

 

Some of the wise said:

"We are still not satisfied with ourselves, so how then can we expect ourselves to be satisfied with others."

 

It has also been said:

Don’t remain aloof from someone who impresses you with a good character and sound judgment because of some minor fault that is surrounded by an ocean of virtues. You will not find, as long as you live, a person so cultivated that he is free from blemish and sin. Contemplate your own self and how it often errs and strays. This kind of introspection makes your demand on others more balanced and makes you more sympathetic to the sinner."

 

An Arab poet said:

"Who is the one whose character is untainted, sufficient worthiness for someone is that his defects can be counted."

 

It has been said that one’s suspicions concerning one’s brother should not ruin a good mutual trust that has been tested over time.

Ja’far ibn Muhammad said to his son. "O’ my son, whoever among your brothers becomes angry with you three times, and on each occasion speaks only the truth about you, take him as a close friend."

 

Al-Hasan ibn Wahb said,

"From the rights of mutual love is to forgive and overlook shortcomings?

 

(So overlook their faults with gracious forgiveness.)     (Qur’an 15: 85)

 

Ibn Roomi said:

"These are people and the world, and there is no doing away with dust that irritates the eyes or spoils the drink. From the lack of fairness is to expect refinement in the world, while you yourself are unrefined."

 

(And had it not been for the Grace of Allah and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins.)           (Qur’an 24: 21)

 

A poet said:

"You seek a cultivated person who is free from defects, but does the aloe exude a pleasant odor without smoke."

 

(So ascribe not purity to yourselves. He knows best him who fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him.)                              (Quran 53: 32)