Women In Islam versus Judaeo-Christian Tradition The Myth & The Reality

12. Mothers

The Old Testament in several places commands kind and considerate
treatment of the parents and condemns those who dishonour them. For
example, "If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to
death" (Lev. 20:9) and "A wise man brings joy to his father but a
foolish man despises his mother" (Proverbs 15:20). Although honouring
the father alone is mentioned in some places, e.g. "A wise man heeds
his father's instruction" (Proverbs 13:1), the mother alone is never
mentioned. Moreover, there is no special emphasis on treating the
mother kindly as a sign of appreciation of her great suffering in
childbearing and suckling. Besides, mothers do not inherit at all from
their children while fathers do. It is difficult to speak of the New
Testament as a scripture that calls for honouring the mother. To the
contrary, one gets the impression that the New Testament considers kind
treatment of mothers as an impediment on the way to God. According to
the New Testament, one cannot become a good Christian worthy of
becoming a disciple of Christ unless he hates his mother. It is
attributed to Jesus to have said: "If anyone comes to me and does not
hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and
sisters--yes, even his own life--he can not be my disciple" (Luke
14:26). Furthermore, the New Testament depicts a picture of Jesus as
indifferent to, or even disrespectful of, his own mother. For example,
when she had come looking for him while he was preaching to a crowd, he
did not care to go out to see her: "Then Jesus' mother and brothers
arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone to call him. A crowd was
sitting around him and they told him, 'Your mother and brothers are
outside looking for you.' 'Who are my mother and my brothers?' he
asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said,'
Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God's will is my
brother and sister and mother.' " (Mark 3:31-35) One might argue that
Jesus was trying to teach his audience an important lesson that
religious ties are no less important than family ties. However, he
could have taught his listeners the same lesson without showing such
absolute indifference to his mother. The same disrespectful attitude is
depicted when he refused to endorse a statement made by a member of his
audience blessing his mother's role in giving birth to him and nursing
him: "As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called
out, 'Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.' He
replied, 'Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey
it.' " (Luke 11:27-28)

If a mother with the stature of the virgin Mary had been treated with
such discourtesy, as depicted in the New Testament, by a son of the
stature of Jesus Christ, then how should an average Christian mother be
treated by her average Christian sons? In Islam, the honour, respect,
and esteem attached to motherhood is unparalleled. The Quran places the
importance of kindness to parents as second only to worshipping God
Almighty: "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, And
that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age
in your life, Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, But
address them in terms of honour. And out of kindness, Lower to them the
wing of humility, and say: 'My Lord! bestow on them Your Mercy as they
Cherished me in childhood' " (17:23-24). The Quran in several other
places puts special emphasis on the mother's great role in giving birth
and nursing: "And We have enjoined on man to be good to his parents: In
travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in two years was his
weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to your parents" (31:14). The very
special place of mothers in Islam has been eloquently described by
Prophet Muhammad: "A man asked the Prophet: 'Whom should I honour
most?' The Prophet replied: 'Your mother'. 'And who comes next?' asked
the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your mother'. 'And who comes next?'
asked the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your mother!'. 'And who comes
next?' asked the man. The Prophet replied: 'Your father'" (Bukhari and
Muslim). Among the few precepts of Islam which Muslims still faithfully
observe to the present day is the considerate treatment of mothers. The
honour that Muslim mothers receive from their sons and daughters is
exemplary. The intensely warm relations between Muslim mothers and
their children and the deep respect with which Muslim men approach
their mothers usually amaze Westerners.