The Bride's Boon

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  • The Bride's Boon

  • Caressing


    Caressing One’s Wife



    Prophetic Hadiths:


    Jabir related,

    While we were returning from a conquest with the Prophet (pbuh), I started driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy camel. A rider came behind me and pricked my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel started running as fast as the best camel you may see. Behold! The rider was the Prophet (pbuh) himself. He said, What makes you in such a hurry? I replied, I am newly married. He said, Did you marry a virgin or a non-virgin? I replied, A non-virgin. He said, Why did not you marry a young girl[1] so that you may play[2] with her and she with you?

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]


    Jabir also related,

    When I married, Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said to me, What type of lady have you married? I replied, I have married a non-virgin woman. He said, Why, do not you have a liking for the virgins and for    fondling them?

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]


    `Aisha related,

    "Eleven women sat (at a place) and promised and contracted they would not conceal anything of the behaviour of their husband. The first one said, My husband is like the meat of a lean weak camel which is kept on the top of a mountain which is neither easy to climb, nor is the meat fat, so that one might put up with the trouble of fething it.[3]  The second one said, I shall not relate my husband’s behaviour, for I fear that I may not be able to finish his story, for if I describe him, I will mention all his defects and bad traits. The third one said, my husband is a tall man: If I describe him (and he hears of that) he will divorce me, and if I keep quiet, he will neither divorce me nor treat me as a wife. The fourth one said, my husband is a moderate person like the night of Tihama which is neither hot nor cold. I am neither afraid of him, nor am I discontented with him. The fifth one said, My husband, when entering (the house) is a leopard, and when going out, is a lion. He does not ask about whatever is in the house. [4] The sixth one said,   If my husband eats, eats too much (leaving the dishes empty), and if he drinks he leaves nothing, and if he sleeps alone (away from me) covered in garments and does not   stretch       his hands here and there so as to know how I fare. The seventh one said, My husband is a wrong-doer or weak and foolish. All the defects are present in him. He may injure your head or your body or may do both. The eighth one said, My husband is soft to touch like a rabbit and smells like a Zarnab (a kind of good smelling grass). The ninth one said, My husband is a tall generous man wearing a long strap for carrying his sword, [5] his ashes are abundant[6] and his house is near to the people who would easily consult him. [7] The tenth one said, My husband is Malik, and what is Malik? Malik is greater than whatever I say about him. (He is beyond and above all praises, which can come to my mind). Most of his camels are kept at home (ready to be slaughtered for the guests) and only a few are taken to the pastures. When the camels hear the sound of the lute (or the tambourine) they realize that they are going to be slaughtered for the guests. The eleventh one said, My husband is Abu Zar', and what is Abu Zar' (i.e., what should I say about him)? He has given many ornaments and my ears are heavily loaded with them and my arms have become fat (i.e., I have become fat). And he has pleased me, and I have become so happy that I feel proud of my self. He found me with my family who were mere owners of sheep and living in property, and brought me to a respected family having horses and camels and threshing and purifying grain.[8] Whatever I say, he does not rebuke or insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I drink my fill. The mother of Abu Zar', and what may one say in praise of the mother of Abu Zar'? Her saddlebags were always full of provision and her house was spacious.[9] As for the son of Abu Zar', what may one say of the son of Abu Zar'? His bed is as narrow as an unsheathed sword and an arm of a kid (of four months) satisfies his hunger.[10] As for the daughter of Abu Zar', she is obedient to her father and to her mother. She has a fat well-built body and that arouses the jealousy of her husband’s other wife. As for the maid slave of Abu Zar', what may one say of the maid of Abu Zar'? She does not uncover our secrets but keep them, and does not waste our provision and does not leave the rubbish scattered everywhere in our house.[11] The eleventh lady added, One day it is so happened that Abu Zar' went out at the time when the milk was being milked from the animals, and he saw a woman who had two sons like two leopards playing with her two breasts. (On seeing her) he divorced me and married her. Therefore I married a noble man who used to ride a fast tireless horse and keep a spear in his hand. He gave many things, and also a pair of every kind of livestock and said, Eat (of this), O Um Zar', and give provision to your relatives. She added, Yet, all those things which my second husband gave me could not fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar' s. ` Aisha (may Allah be pleased with he) then said: Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) said to me, I am to you as Abu Zar' was to his wife Um Zar' .

    [Reported by Al- Bukhari]


    Caressing One’s wife Even While Menstruation


    Prophetic Hadiths:


    The Prophet (pbuh) said concerning the woman, who    is in her menstrual period,

    "Do what you want except sexual intercourse.

    [Reported by the five most authentic narrators except Al­-Bukhari]


    When the Prophet (pbuh) wants to do something with one of his wives during her menstrual period, he covers her vagina and does what he wants.

    [Reported by Abu Dawud]



    The Bathing of Husband and Wife together


    Prophetic Hadiths:


    On the authority of 'Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) who         said: “I used to bathe with the Prophet from a single container of water which was placed between us such that our hands collided inside it. He used to race me such that I. would say: "Leave some for me, leave some for me!'[12] 1 She added: "We were in a state of major ritual impurity (i.e. the state of having slept together’”

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]




    The Superiority of Caressing One’s wife


    Prophetic Hadith:


    Every thing that does not pertain to the remembrance of Allah is amusement except the following three things:

    1- Caressing one’s wife, [13]

    2- Taming one’s horse,

    3- Shooting arrows,

    4- Learning how to swim.

    [Reported by Al-Nisa’i]



    Having Sexual Intercourse With One’s Wife While Fasting in Ramadan


    Prophetic Hadiths:


    Narrated Abu Hurayra,

    A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, I am ruined! The Prophet (pbuh) said, Why? He said, I have had sexual intercourse with my wife while fasting (in the month of Ramadan). The Prophet (pbuh) said to him, Manumit a slave (as expiation). He replied, I cannot afford that. The Prophet (pbuh) said, Then fast for two) successive months. He said, I cannot. The Prophet (pbuh) said, Then feed sixty poor persons. He said, I have nothing to do so. In the meantime a basket full of dates was brought to the Prophet (pbuh). He said, Where is the questioner? The man said. I am here. The Prophet (pbuh) said to him, Give this basket of dates) in charity (as expiation). He said, O Allah’s Messenger! Shall I give it to poorer people than us? By Him Who sent you with the Truth, there is one family between Madina’s two mountains poorer than us. The Prophet (pbuh) smiled until his pre-molar teeth became visible. He then said, Then take it.

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]




    The Prophet, the Funny Husband[14]


    Prophetic Hadiths:


    `Aisha, the Mother of the Believers (may Allah be pleased with her) said, "By Allah, I saw the Prophet (pbuh) standing at the door of my room screening me with his garment to enable me to watch the Abyssinians playing with spears in the mosque. I was placing my head between his ear and shoulder, and my face leaning to his cheek. Then he started to say, O `Aisha, were not you satisfied? I replied, No, to know how dear I am to him. He said that repeatedly until I became satisfied.

    [Reported by Bukhari]


    In another version,

    "He was standing especially for me until I became bored and left. Therefore, you should treat the girl who is fond of amusement (providing that it is permissible) according to her age.


    'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) said, Once I traveled with Allah's Messenger (pbuh) when I was young and not fat. Then, he asked his companions to go forward and they did so. Afterwards he said, Let us race each other. Therefore, I started to run until I won. Later on when I became fat and forgot what had happened, I traveled again with him. He asked his companions to go forward and they did so. Then he said, Let us     race each other. I forgot what happened in the first race. I was fat therefore I said, O messenger of Allah, how could I race you in this case? However, he said, Let us race. Then, he won the race. He started to laugh and said, This was opposite the last one.

    "The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) would say to `Aisha, (may Allah be pleased with her): "I know when you become angry or pleased of me" She said, "I asked, how could you know that?" He said, "When you are pleased, you say, "No, by the Lord of Muhammad and when you are angry, you say, "No, by the lord of Ibrahim"

    (Reported by Bukhari)


    ‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) also related,

    One day the Prophet (pbuh) asked me, What are these? My dolls, I replied. What is this in the middle? He asked. A horse, I replied. And what are these things on it? he asked. Wings, I said. A horse with wings? he asked. Have not you heard that Solomon, the son of David, had horses with wings? I said. Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) laughed so heartily that I could see his molars.

    [Reported by Abu Dawud]




    [1] This is because a virgin woman has the luster of pleasure, clings to her husband and is easy to be learned what her husband wants to implant of good manners.


    [2] The first time to have sex with your partner is very critical. Both of you may be fumbling and do not know what he or she ought to do. This is because both of you plan how to lose his or her virginity as fast as possible. Caressing one’s wife is so important at that moment. Speak to her about your love and passion. Get to know each other’s body. Take your time in caressing each other and you will lead a happy life.


    [3] Her husband is badly behaved, worthless, arrogant and miserly.


    [4] She compares her husband with a leopard, which is well-known for being shy, harmless and fond of too much sleep. She compares him with a lion when he is out for fighting. Besides, he does not interfere in the home affairs, e.g., he does not ask her how much she has spent, nor does he criticize any fault he may notice.

    [5] He is noble and brave

    [6] He is so generous that he always makes fires for his guests to entertain them, and hence, the abundant ashes he has at home.

    [7]  He lives near to the people so that he is always at hand to solve their problems and help them in hardships and give them good advice.

    [8] They were rich farmers. Her husband took her out of property into prosperity.

    [9] She was well-of and generous.

    [10] He was a slender man who ate little.

    [11] She was trustworthy, careful and clear

    [12] It is permissible for the husband and wife to bath together in the same place even though he sees her private parts, and she sees his.


    [13] In this connection, a husband should treat his wife kindly and fairly. He should wait until she satisfies. If one orgasms first, he should keep caressing her until she climax too. The Prophet (pbuh) said, None is of complete belief until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself (of goodness). Thus if one orgasms too soon, he should take his time before having sexual intercourse with his wife to caress her and get to know her body. The wife also may postpone that until she gets to the point of climax. It is better for the husband to immerse his penis in cold water. He may wash it while caressing his wife from time to time. The clitoris has also a great role in stimulating the woman’s desire. Clitoris is the protruding part of the vagina. Caressing that sensitive part should be done very carefully. Such caressing may be done before or after the sexual intercourse until the woman orgasms.


    [14] Many may imagine that the Prophet, Muhammad (pbuh) was decisive all the time, even with his wives. They may further sympathize with his wives for this reason. On the contrary, the Prophet was the kindest one towards his wives. He was comical when it was time for fun. He was also smiling and used to cuddle them.


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