The Bride's Boon
Family and Dangers
The Husband’s Relatives and Friends
Prophetic Hadiths:
"Beware of entering upon ladies", A man asked, "Allah’s Messenger! What about al-Hamul the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephew etc.)? The Prophet (pbuh) replied: The in-laws of the wife are death itself.[1]
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Beware of the Display of Woman’s Body
Qur’anic verses:
{O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons [2](when out of doors): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.}
[Al-Ahzab: 59]
{O ye children of Adam! let not Satan seduce you, in the same manner as he got your parents out of the Garden, stripping them of their raiment, to expose their shame}
[Al- A'raf: 27]
{And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands fathers, their sons, their husbands sons, their brothers or their brothers sons, or their sisters sons or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male attendants free of sexual desires, or small children who have no carnal knowledge of women; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah in repentance that ye may be prosperous}
[Al-Nur: 31]
{O consorts of the Prophet: Ye are not like any of the (other) women: If ye do fear (Allah), be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak ye a speech (that is) just. And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, like that of the former times of Ignorance; and establish regular prayer, and give zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. And Allah only wishes to remove all abomination from you, ye Members of the Family, and to make you pure and spotless.}
[Al-Ahzab: 32- 33]
Prophetic Hadiths:
"Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) related, Once, Asma, the daughter of Abu Bakr came on the prophet (pbuh) wearing thin clothes. Whereupon the prophet (pbuh) said to her: O Asma! When a woman comes of age, nothing save this and this pointing at his face and hands -should be seen of her.
"Whoever drags the hem of his garment out of conceit, Allah will not look at him on the Day of Judgment. Umm Salama asked, "What do women do with their hems? The prophet (pbuh) said, "Let them leave an inch down. She said, Their legs will be exposed! He said, Let it be an arm length down and nothing more.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Abu Hurayrah reported Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) as saying, "Two are the types of the denizens of Hell whom I did not see: People having flogs like the trails of the ox with them, and they would be beating people; and the women who would be dressed but appear to be naked, who would be inclined to evil and make their husbands incline towards it. Their heads would be like the humps of the bukht [3] camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Paradise and they would not smell its odour whereas its odour would be smelt from such and such distance.
[Reported by Muslim]
Women Imitating Men and Vice Versa
Qur’anic verses:
(And in no wise covet those things in which Allah has bestowed His gifts more freely on some of you than on others: to men is allotted what they earn, and to women what they earn: but ask Allah of His bounty, for Allah has full knowledge of all things.}
[An- Nisa: 32]
Prophetic Hadiths:
The messenger of Allah (pbuh) curses the effeminate men and the masculine women.
[Reported by Bukhari]
He is not of women imitate men and men who imitate women.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
On the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) who said that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,
Allah curses a woman who wears a men’s clothing and a man who wears a woman’s dress.
[Reported by Abu Dawud and An-Nisa’i]
"There are three people who will not enter Paradise nor will Allah look at them on the Day of Judgement: The one who shows disrespect to his parent, the masculine woman and the pimp.
[Reported by Al-Hakim]
Let effeminate men not enter upon you (any more).
[Reported by al-Bukhari]
Negative showing off
Qur’anic verses:
{And that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments.[4] And O ye believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah in repentance that ye may be prosperous.}
[An-Nur .31]
Prophetic Hadiths:
If a woman gets outdoors perfumed[5] and passed by some people who smelt her perfume, she is considered an adulteress, and every eye (which look at her) is adulteress.
[Reported by al- Hakim and Al –Nasa’i]
The Prohibition of Imitating the Unbelievers
Qur’anic verses:
{So stand Ye straight, and follow not the path of those who know not.}
[Yunus: 89]
{If anyone contends with the Messenger even after guidance has been plainly conveyed to him, and follows a path other than that becoming to men to faith, we shall leave him in the path he has chosen, and land him in Hell, what an evil refuge!}
[An-Nisa': 115]
{And follow not their vain desires, but beware of them lest they beguile these from any of that (teaching) which Allah has sent down to these.}
[Al-Ma'idah: 49]
{Never will the Jews or the Christians be satisfied with these unless than follow their form of religion say: the guidance of Allah that is the (only) guidance. Were than to follow their desires after the knowledge which has reached these, then wouldst than find neither protector nor helper against Allah.}
[Al-Baqarah: 120]
{O ye of faith; say not (to the Prophet) ra'ina, but say, (inzurna -and hearken (to him): to those without faith is a grievous punishment.}
[Al-Baqarah: 104]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Whoever imitates any people is of them.
Abu Waqid al-laithi (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "Once, we went out with the Prophet (pbuh) before the expedition of Khaybar. We have just embraced Islam by then. When we saw the atheists gathering around a tree and hanging their weapons on it, we asked the Messenger of Allah to hold for us a tree like that. Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "Allah Akbar (Allah is the greater); this was the statement of the Israelites when they asked, “May you hold a god for us like theirs. You would imitate those who were before you.”
You would follow the traditions of your predecessors inch by inch and arm by arm even if they entered a hole of a lizard[6]
[1] It is mainly the brothers of the husband or the in –laws of the wife who are meant here are only those who could have married that woman if she had not been married. 2The stay of a relative of a woman by marriage in seclusion with her may cause great disadvantage and lead to illegal sexual intercourse that would ruin the family. Therefore the prophet (pbuh) compared the brother in-law of a wife to death if he stays in seclusion with her. The husband’s friends are also included in the above warning.
[2] The object was not to restrict the liberty of women, but to protect them from harm and molestation. Young men are easy to be seduced when seeing a woman showing her body. They cannot control their desires and they, in turn, may kidnap her or rape her.
[3] Their heads would look like the humps of the bukht camel means that they comb their hair in tile form of a Camels hump
[4] Imam Ibn Kathir said, in the pre-Islamic time (Jahiliyya) a woman used to tinkle her ankle ornament to draw attention to themselves therefore, Allah the Almighty forbade such an act.
[5] Ornament and perfume are lawful for a woman to do. This is an innate trait of a woman: to be fond of beauty and ornament. Islam does not suppress that trait but rather organize it. The only who could show the woman’s beauty is her husband. Unmarriageable kin may also show some of these ornaments.
[6] Imitation of foreigners deconstructs one’s personality. It is a sign of one’s weakness. It is the weak who imitates the strong. Imitating the unbelievers in their clothes may lead to imitating them in their ideology and belief.
The dress should not be similar to what is known as the custom of unbelievers. This requirement is derived from the general rule of Shari' ah that Muslims should have their distinct personality and should differentiate their practices and appearance from that of the unbelievers. Therefore, a Muslim woman should have the following requirements in her dress:
(1)Extent of covering: the dress must cover the whole body except for the areas specifically exempted: face and hands.
(2)Overall appearance: the dress should not be such that it attracts men's attention to the woman's beauty. The Qur'an clearly prescribes the requirements of the woman's dress for the purpose of concealing adornment. How such adornment could be concealed if the dress is designed in a way that it attracts men's eyes to the woman.
(3) Thickness: the dress should be thick enough so as not to show the color of the skin it covers, or the shape of the body which it is supposed to hide. The Prophet (pbuh) said, "In latter (generations) of my Ummah there will be dressed but naked.
(4) Looseness: the dress must be loose enough so as not describe the shape of a woman's body. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once received a thick garment as a gift. He gave it to Usama Ibn Zayd, who in turn gave it to his wife. When asked by the Prophet why he didn't wear it, Usama indicated that he gave it to his wife. The Prophet (pbuh) then said to Usama , “ask her to use a ghulalah under it (the garment) for I fear that it (the garment) may describe the size of her bones."
(5) It should not be perfumed.
(6) It should not be similar to what is known as a male costume. "The Prophet (pbuh) cursed the men who act like women and the women who act like men".
(7)It should not be similar to what is known as the customs of unbelievers.
(8) It should not be a dress of fame, pride and vanity. The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever wears a dress of fame in this world, Allah will clothe him a dress of humiliation on the Day of Resurrection, then set it a fire.