Islamic Perspective of Sex

Islam and Sexual Stimulants

Islam bans all actions that lead to arouse the sex other than the permissible. Islam, out of precautious, bans all activities that lead to unlawful practices. It is a bare fact that when a person is sexually aroused and overwhelmed with sexual emotions he would be tempted to involve even in prevented courses. Such a person will not hesitate to resort to any means to gratify his sexual passions. Such a sexually charged and aroused person may tend to discharge such drive unlawfully. The sexual prevention may be attained with mutual consent of the two parties involved, or by force, or rape. Both, adults and minors may participate in such unlawful activities. Some individuals may tend to discharge it by another unlawful mean that is homosexual, lesbian, or masturbation. All the above-cited forms are unlawful in Islam.

Means to Restrict Stimulants

Islam commands to apply the following methodology in order to restrict sexual intercourse:

• Islam commands parents to separate male and female children, who reach the age of puberty and maturity as they sleep. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ Command your children to [begin] offering prayers [on a regular basis] at age seven. [Then] discipline them if they don't maintain it [on a regular basis] when they become ten years of age. [Moreover] separate [male children from females] when they sleep at that age” [12].Islam ordains, through Allah's Messenger's command and instruction (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), to avoid any contact between males and females while sleeping together alone in the same bed or room. Such contact may arouse the potential sexual urges.
• Islam ordains that Muslim women be segregated from stranger males. This is ordained, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) knows best, in order to maintain the honor and preserve the dignity of both and in order to avoid any sexual intimacy between both. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Ahzab [The Confederates] (33:59):“ Oh Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons [when abroad]: that is most convenient, that they should be known [as such] and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”.Islam, however, gave a permission to the elder, unmarriageable ladies, who are neither sexually desirous nor sexually attractive, to wear normal modest attire such as long garments and basic head cover [other than covering the face] and do not wear any facial makeup, to appear as such before stranger males. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Nur [The Light] (24:60):“ Such elderly women as are past the prospect of marriage, there is no blame on them if they lay aside their [outer] garments, provided they make not a wanton display of their beauty: but it is best for them to be modest: and Allah is One Who sees and knows all things”.
• Islam commands to protect and lower the eyesight against all unlawful scenes. Eyesight may generate a sexual desire in the eyes of the beholder. As such, this may develop later on to a wanting, eager and meditating evil desire, and eventually executing these desires, unlawfully. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Nur [The Light] (24:30-31):“ Say to the Believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what [must ordinarily] appear thereof…”.Furthermore, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ The look [of the eyesight] is a poisonous arrow of Iblis [Satan]” [13]. Imam Ibn-ul-Qayyim is reported to have commented on this issue as follows: "While eyesight or eye contact is the beginning of the sexual stimulants, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) began with it first, prior to the protection and chastising of the private parts. In fact, all sexual drives begin with an eye contact. Similarly, the greatest fire begins with the smallest fire spark. A person begins with an unlawful look, then this develops into a thought in the mind and heart, then this develops into a step or an action of movement towards the sexual partner, and finally this would end up in a sin of an unlawful sexual intercourse. Therefore, it is wisely said: 'whoever preserves the following four items, would surely preserve his faith. These are as follows:
  1. Eyesight or looks and gaze.
  2. [Evil] thoughts that cross the mind and heart.
  3. [Sexually seductive] words that are uttered [with evil and unlawful intention] or flirting with women or men.
  4. Steps [that lead to unlawful sexual practices] [14].
  Furthermore, as it is potentially possible to unlawfully glance at something, Muslims are commanded not to prolong such unlawful looks. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said to Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) which read as follows:“ Oh Ali [Listen]! Don't continue with looking [at unlawful items], as the first look is [permitted] for you, while the second is not” [15]. Islam urged and encouraged its followers and Believers to seek the Pleasure of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) by protecting their looks. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ Whoever lowers his gaze by not looking at the charms of a [stranger] woman, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) would substitute him for this with a faith, which he would feel its sweetness in his heart” [16].
• Islam ordains both adult and mature males and females to seek permission prior entering any private residence. Such permission, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) knows best, is ordained in order to avoid looks at any unlawful scene. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Nur [The Light] (24:58):“ Oh ye who believe! Let those whom your right hands possess, and the [children] among you who have not come of age ask your permission [before they come to your presence], on three occasions, before morning prayer; the while you take off your clothes for the noonday heat; and after the late-night prayer: these are your three times of undress: outside these times it is not wrong for you or for them to move about attending to each other: thus does Allah make clear the Signs to you: for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom”.In addition, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Nur (24:59):“ But when the children among you come of age, let them [also] ask for permission, as do those senior to them [in age]: thus does Allah make clear His Signs to you: for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom”.
• Islam bans impersonation for both sexes; males and females. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) curse impersonating men [as females], and may Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) curse impersonating females [as males]”.
• Islam bans listening to sexually oriented songs and the like. Naturally, such acts would mentally prepare and lead normal people to commit unlawful banned sexual practices. In fact, Muslim scholars of early generations described sexually motivating songs and singings: "It is the essential mean for committing adultery".
• Islam bans sitting alone, for an extensive period, with young men, i.e., minor males, especially the attractive looking ones among them. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ The fornication of the eye is to look [at unlawful items or actions]. The fornication of the tongue is to speak [using unlawful words, phrases, terminology, descriptions and stories]. The fornication of the hand is to commit [unlawful acts or actions]. The fornication of the foot is to walk [even steps] to an unlawful place or activity. The fornication of the ear is to listen [to unlawful items such as songs, stories, words, secrets and the like]. Yet, the human soul wishes for all of that or promises to obtain. However, the private parts would either confirm [any of these actions and activities] or falsify them”.
• Islam bans male Muslims to be alone with any female, other than immediate relatives that are not permissible for marriage, or a spouse. Such privacy may lead to satanic seduction. Consequently, this may lead to adulterous acts or fornication. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ Any man, who sits in a privacy with a female, [whom he can marry], would be accompanied by Satan as the third companion to the two” [17].In fact, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) explained the best method to be with a female saying, which read as follows:“ A man must not be alone with a woman, unless one of her male (Mahram) immediate relatives [i.e., a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a nephew, a grandson] is present with them” [18].
• Islam further bans any mingled activities. This is because such activities and meeting may lead to suspicious relationships between non-related males and females. In fact, Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala)states in Quran Sura Ahzab [The Confederates] (33:53):“ And when ye ask [his one of his wives] for anything ye want ask them from behind a barrier [partition]: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs”.Professor Muhammad Qutub in his book, 'Man between Materialism and Islam', comments as follows:" Innocent co-ed was a mammoth myth came from the West [i.e., Europe and the North Hemisphere]. The West, at the beginning of its dissolvence, wanted to treat its' sexual pressure. The Western social scientists and psychologists exaggerated the immense value of co-ed. Later, they denied it all and never mentioned it after that. They truly discovered the real picture and results of co-ed. As such, physiatrists, psychologists, and neurologists withdrew completely from their previous opinion regarding co-ed. Those even denied slow dance [innocent] parties, co-ed tea parties, and co-ed picnics under the supervision of parents and teachers. Today, the same scholars claim that any co-ed meeting would stir the sex and not the opposite. The personal feelings may be suppressed, or they are forced to be suppressed because of social circumstances. At other times, such personal feelings would be suppressed due to shyness before other people. Consequently, suppression of personal feelings would instigate psychological or mental anxiety and apprehension. Such anxiety occurs because of the social co-ed meetings. At such point, one of two things may take place. A young male may seek a different place where he can freely practice his personal feelings and emotions without any barriers or controls. Or else, the young male would remain under severe anxiety that may lead to certain disorders. Therefore, we can easily wonder: "What an innocent meeting these co-ed meetings are!"
• Islam bans a wife to describe the physical details of another woman. This is so to prevent the slightest attraction of that married man to the other woman. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ A woman must not see another woman [exposed in a private females meeting], then describes the details of that woman to her husband” [19].
• Islam bans women to get out of their homes wearing full make up and perfume. Such a practice would attract the attention of males to them. As such, the woman may be trapped into unlawful relationships with males who are awaiting such opportunities.Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Ahzab [The Confederates] (33:33):“ And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, like that of the former Times of Ignorance”. In fact, Islam bans a female to speak softly and in an attractive tone with a male who is not related to her. This practice is a mean of protection for the female against males who are desirous for adultery and fornication. A female Muslim must speak with a male only as necessary. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Ahzab [The Confederates] (33:33):“ Oh Consorts of the Prophet! Ye are not like any of the [other] women: if ye do fear [Allah], be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak ye a speech [that is] just”.
• Islam further bans nudity and displaying women's physical attractions. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Aaraaf [The Heights] (6:26):“ Oh ye Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover your shame, as well as to be an adornment to you. However, the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition!”.
• Islam instructs women allowed to appear before lawful relatives to do so with casual clothes and ornamentations. Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) states in Quran Sura Nur [The Light] (24:31):“ …and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And, Oh ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss”.
• Islam bans a woman to travel alone. A woman must travel with an immediate relative described earlier as Mahram. This escort or companion must be one of the following relatives: a husband, a father, a brother, or a relative whom she is not allowed to marry on a permanent basis. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is reported to have said, which read as follows:“ A woman must not travel without a Mahram. No male must enter the privacy of a woman without an immediate Mahram is available with that woman. A man raised a question to Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) saying: Oh Messenger of Allah! My wife set out to perform pilgrimage while I have registered for such and such Ghazwah [Fighting Troops, what should I do?]. Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) instructed the man as follows: Go and join your wife for pilgrimage” [20].

  [12] Ahmad and Abu Dawoud reported this Hadith. [13] Ahmad reported this Hadith. [14] Ibn-ul-Qayyim, 'al-Jawab-ul-Kafi liman Saala 'an al-Jawabi-sh-shafi' [The Sufficient Answer for the Person Who Asks for the Healing Medicine], P.172. [15] Ahmad, Abu Daoud and Tirmithi reported this Hadith. [16] Tabarani and Hakim reported this Hadith. [17] Tirmithi reported this Hadith. [18] Bukhari and Muslim reported this Hadith. [19] Ahmad reported this Hadith. [20] Bukhari and Muslim reported this Hadith.