The Bride's Boon

Recommendations before Marriage

Recommendations before Marriage

 

It is recommended to advise the wife before the consummation of marriage. Anas said The Prophet’s companions when giving a woman to her husband in marriage they ordered her to serve and take care of him.

The advice of a father:

'Abdullah ibn Ja'far ibn Abu Talib advised his daughter by saying:

1- Beware of jealousy; it is the key word of divorce.

2- Beware of much blame; it creates grudge.

3- Use kohl (a substance for lining one’s eyes); it is the best adornment

4- Water is the best perfume.

 

The advice of a mother:

     A mother also advised her daughter before marriage by saying:

"O dear daughter! You are leaving for a different home and customs. None can live without marriage. Men and women are created for each other. Thus you should bear in mind the following ten properties to lead a happy marital life:

 

1,2- Be modest and obedient,

3,4- Let him only see and smell what admires him,

5,6- Do not leave him hungry or disturb him while sleeping

7,8- Keep his property and take care of his children,­

9,10- Do not disobey him or divulges his secrets.

 

 

A contemporary mother advising her daughter:

"O dear daughter you are going to lead a new life. You will be in the company of a man who wants you to be for his own. Let him feel that you are the wife, the mother and every thing in his life. You have to bear in mind that a man is an old child. The least of words can please him. Let him not feel that he plucked you out of your family. He also has left his family to live with you. O dear daughter! This is your present and forthcoming life. This is the family you are going to set up together.