The Bride's Boon
Rights and Duties
The Wife’s Right
Qur’anic verses:
{And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree over them and Allah is Exalted in Power.}
[Al-Baqarah: 228]
{Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.}[1]
[Al-Nisa’: 19]
Prophetic Hadiths:
One of the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) asked him saying, O Messenger of Allah, what is the right of one's wife? He answered, "To feed her when you eat, to clothe her when you clothe yourself, not to slap her face or insult her, and not to abandon her except inside the home.”[2]
[Narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Majah]
On the Day of Judgement, the just people will be on pulpits of light on the right Hand of the Merciful: those who are just in their rule and family.
[Reported by Muslim]
Deserting One’s Wife for a Long Time
One day while" Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) was walking in Madina during the night, he heard a woman saying:
"What a long night! I do not have a lover with whom I can play. By Allah! Unless Allah watches me there will be someone to make love with me.
Accordingly, "Umar asked about that woman. He was told that her husband was away from her for fighting in the cause of Allah. Then, he ordered that they must gather together. He sent for the husband to return. He entered upon Hafsa and asked, O daughter! How long can a woman stay away from her husband? She said, Five or six months.
Therefore, he issued a command that warriors in the cause of Allah should not be taken away from their wives more than six months.
The Wife as a Friend
Qur’anic verses:
{And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable ;}
[Al-Baqarah: 228]
{And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.}
[Al-Rum: 21]
The Husband’s Right towards his Wife
Prophetic Hadiths:
Had it been permissible that a person prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife prostrate herself before her husband.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Allah will not look at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband, while unable to do without him.
[Reported by Al-Nasa’i]
"There are three (kinds of) people whose prayers are not accepted by Allah, nor does any good deed of theirs rise up to heaven: a fleeing slave until he returns to his master and helps him, a woman whose husband is angry with her, and a drunkard until he becomes conscious.
[Narrated by Ibn Hibban]
Hussain ibn Muhsan’s aunt mentioned her husband to the Prophet (pbuh) who said, Evaluate yourself concerning your husband for he is your Paradise or Hell-fire.
[Reported by Ahmad and Al-Hakim]
A Woman’s Voluntary Fasting
Prophetic Hadiths:
It is not lawful for a woman to fast (voluntarily) when her husband is present, save by his permission. Nor to permit anyone into his house except with his permission.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
A woman came to the Prophet (pbuh) while we were with him. She said: Messenger of Allah, my husband, Safwan ibn al-Mu'attal, beats me when I pray, and makes me break my fast when I keep a fast, and he does not offer the dawn prayer until the sun rises.
He asked Safwan, who was present, about what she had said. He replied: Apostle of Allah, as for her statement He beats me when I pray, she recites two surahs (during prayer) and I have prohibited her (to do so).
He (the Prophet) said: If one surah is recited (during prayer), that is sufficient for the people.
(Safwan continued :) As regards her saying "he makes me break my fast," she dotes on fasting; I am a young man, I cannot restrain myself.
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said on that day: A woman should not fast except with the permission of her husband.
(Safwan said :) As for her statement that I do not pray until the sun rises, we are a people belonging to a class, and that (our profession of supplying water) is already known about us. We do not awake until the sun rises. He said: When you awake, offer your prayer.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
It is not allowed for a woman to spend her husband property without his permission. Someone asked the Prophet (pbuh), Even food? He replied, This is the best of our property.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
If a woman gives in charity something from her husband’s property, she and her husband will have the same reward: because he is the owner and she is the one who spends.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
The Superiority of Maintaining One’s Husband
Prophetic Hadiths:
Zainab, the wife of 'Abdullah said, "I was in the Mosque and saw the Prophet (pbuh) saying, 'O women! Give alms even from your ornaments.' "Zainab used to provide for' Abdullah and those orphans who were under her protection. So she said to 'Abdullah, "Will you ask Allah's Apostle whether it will be sufficient for me to spend part of the Zakat on you and the orphans who are under my protection?" He replied "Will you yourself ask Allah's Messenger?" (Zainab added): So I went to the Prophet and I saw there an Ansari woman who was standing at the door (of the Prophet) with a similar problem as mine. Bilal passed by us and we asked him, 'Ask the Prophet whether it is permissible for me to spend (the Zakat) on my husband and the orphans under my protection.' And we requested Bilal not to inform the Prophet about us. So Bilal went inside and asked the Prophet regarding our problem. The Prophet (pbuh) asked, "Who are those two?" Bilal replied that she was Zainab. The Prophet said, "Which Zainab?" Bilal said, "The wife of 'Adullah (bin Mas’ud)." The Prophet said, "Yes, (it is sufficient for her) and she will receive double rewards (for that): One for helping relatives, and the other for giving Zakat."
[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim]
The Heavenly Wives Defending Their Husbands
Prophetic Hadiths:
Whenever a woman causes annoyance and torture to her husband in this world, his mate from among the Hour is of Paradise says to her: May Allah ruin thee, do not cause your husband annoyance, for, he is only your guest, and will soon leave thee to join us in Paradise.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
The Reward of Obeying One’s Husband
Prophetic Hadiths:
If a woman performs the five (prayers), fasts the month (of Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wants.
[Reported by Abu Na'im]
If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.
[Reported by Tirmidhi]
Hussain ibn Muhsan’s aunt mentioned her husband to the Prophet (pbuh) who said, Evaluate yourself concerning your husband for he is your Paradise or Hell-fire.
[Reported by Ahmad and Al- Hakim]
Take Care of Women
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) then set out and the Quraysh did not doubt that he would halt at al- Mash’ar al-Haram (the sacred site) as the Quraysh used to do in the pre-Islamic period. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh), however, passed on till he came to Arafat and he found that the tent had been pitched for him at Namirah. There he got down till the sun had passed the meridian; he coll11nanded that al-Qaswa should be brought and saddled for him. Then he came to the bottom of the valley, and addressed the people saying: Verily your blood, your property is as sacred and inviolable as the sacredness of this day of yours, in this month of yours, in this town of yours, Behold! Everything pertaining to the Days of Ignorance is under my feet completely abolished. Abolished are also the blood-revenges of the Days of Ignorance. The first claim of ours on blood-revenge which I abolish is that of the son of Rabi’ah ibn al-Harith, who was nursed among the tribe of Sa'd and killed by Hudhayl. And the usury of she pre-Islamic period is abolished, and the first of our usury I abolished is that of Abbas ibn Abdul-Muttalib, for it is all abolished. Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have right over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their right upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner. I have left among you the Book of Allah, and if you hold fast to it, you would never go astray. And you would be asked about me (on the Day of Resurrection), (now tell me) what would you say? They (the audience) said: We will bear witness that you have conveyed (the message), discharged (the ministry of Prophethood) and given wise (sincere) counsel. He (the narrator) said: He (the Holy Prophet) then raised his forefinger towards the sky and pointing it at the people (said): "O Allah, be witness. O Allah be witness,” saying it thrice.
[Reported by Muslim]
A believer is not given to reviling, cursing, obscenity, or vulgarity.[3]
[Reported by Ahmad]
The Responsibility of the Spouse Towards Each Other
Qur’anic verses:
{O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern and sever, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do (precisely) what they are commanded.}
[Al-Tahrim: 6]
Prophetic Hadiths:
All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care. The Imam (i.e. ruler) is the guardian of his subjects and is responsible for them and a man is the guardian of his family and is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it. A servant is the guardian of his master’s belongings and is responsible for them.' I thought that he also said, 'A man is the guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it. All of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and the things under your care.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
The Political and Military Goals of Marriage
Qur’anic verses:
{Against them make ready your strength to the utmost of your power,}
[Al-Anfal: 60]
Prophetic Hadiths:
Marry a woman who is affectionate and fertile, for I will boast over all nations concerning your number.
[Reported by Abu Dawud]
A woman came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, Men have taken the advantage of listening to you; may specify a day in which you can teach us of what Allah taught you? The Prophet (pbuh) said, You can gather together on the day of so and so in the place of so and so. They gathered and the Prophet (pbuh) came and taught them. Then he said, If any woman of you gave birth to three children, they will be a shelter for her from Fire. A woman said, What about two children'? He said, Or two.
[Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Evidence of the Prophecy
Prophetic Hadith:
"Two are the types of the denizens of Hell whom I did not see: People having flogs like the trails of the ox with them, and they would be beating people; and the women who would be dressed but appear to be naked, who would be inclined to evil and make their husbands incline towards it. Their heads would be like the humps of the bukht[4] camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Paradise and they would not smell its odour whereas its odour would be smelt from such and such distance.[5]
[Reported by Muslim]
[1] Islam does not contribute to any theory of the fall of Adam symbolizing the fall of man. There was no fall at all in that sense. Man was created for the purpose of acting as vicegerent on the earth and he came to the world to fulfill this mission. It represents the rise of man to a new assignment, his tryst with destiny, and not a tall.
Islam does not subscribe to the view that woman led man. (Eve leading Adam) to sin and disobedience. According to the Qur`an Satan caused them both to deflect therefrom. Both were held responsible for the act, both repented their transgression and both were forgiven. They entered the world without any stigma of original sin on their soul.
[2] The above Hadith indicates that the wife’s financial support is obligatory according to one’s circumstances. As for abandoning her, it may be interpreted as refraining from sleeping with her, or giving her his back after cohabiting with her, but not leaving her to live in another house.
[3] Spouses should disdain such bad properties that are difficult to remedy.
You have an invaluable wife
Have you ever calculated how much your wife spends monthly if she is a rational one and is not fond of imitating foreigners? She watches your children, cooks your food, washes and repairs your clothes. She is your secretary, psychiatrist and lawyer. When you come back at evening you often complain to your wife from the problems you face at work. She in turn starts to relieve you by having a bath together where you may sprinkle water against each other as a kind of kidding and caressing. You may also caress each other inside the bedroom. You may listen to a comic T.V show and have a cup of tea together. Would you feel tired after such a program?
[4] Their heads would look like the humps of the bukht camel means that they comb their hair in the form of a camels hump.
[5] This is what the rich people do nowadays.