The Bride's Boon

  • bookcover

  • The Bride's Boon

  • Take Care of Women


    Kind Treatment of One’s Wife


    Prophetic Hadiths:


    Abu Hurayrah relate that the Prophet (pbuh) said,

    "The best of you is whoever treats his wife kindly."

    [Narrated by Ahmad and Tirmidhi]


    `Aisha (may Allah be pleased upon him) related,

    "The Prophet (pbuh) used to work for his family, and when he heard                 the call for prayer (adhan), he would go out.

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]



    How to Deal with a Wife Whom You Dislike


    Qur’anic verses:


    {Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in the (husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to women on whose part ye tear disloyalty and ill-conduct admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above ye all).}

    [Al-Nisa’ : 34]


    {But it is possible that ye dislike a thing, which is good, for you,}

    [Al-Baqarah: 216]


     Prophetic Hadiths:


    Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) reports the Prophet (pbuh) to have said, "Never a believer hates a believing woman. If he hates one of her manners, he may admire another. "

    [Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim]


    Umm Kulthum bint `Uqba related,

    "I have not heard that the Prophet (pbuh) permitted telling lies except in three cases:

    (1) A man seeking reconciliation

    (2) At war

    (3) Talking to one’s wife or husband.[1]




    Forbearing One’s Wife


    Prophetic hadiths:


    "Once the Prophet (pbuh) and `Aisha were angry with each other. Meanwhile, Abu Bakr intervened as an arbitrer. The Prophet (pbuh) said (to `Aisha), either you or I speak. She said, You can speak but you should tell the truth. Thereupon, Abu Bakr bunched her and said", O the opponent of herself! Does he tell other than the truth! Accordingly, she resorted to the Prophet (pbuh) shelter and sat down behind him. The Prophet (pbuh) said, We do not invite you to do that and we do not like to so.

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]


    Once `Aisha said (to the Prophet) while angry, You claim that you are a Messenger?

    The Prophet (pbuh) smiled and forbore what she said.



    The Exhortation of Taking Care of Women


    Qur’anic verses:


    {Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.}

    [Al-Nisa’ : 19]


    Prophetic Hadith:


    I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its Upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of women.

    [Narrated by Al-Bukhari]


    Another version reads,

    The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness.

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]



    The High Rank of woman in Islam[2]


    Qur’anic verses:


    {And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable ;}

    [Al-Baqarah: 228]


    Prophetic Hadith:


    Women are men’s partners.

    [Reported by Ahmad]


    'Umar ibn Al-Khattab said, By Allah we had not paid attention to women in Jahiliyya (pre-Islamic period) until Allah revealed what He revealed concerning them. One day while I was pondering a problem, my wife said, You would better do so and so. I said, It is none of your business and how could you intervene in the religious matters!? She said, Oh no! You would not like to be retorted! Your daughter used to answer the Prophet (pbuh) back to the extent that he might become angry all the day. Thereupon, I ('Umar) proceeded after dressing myself and entered upon Hafsa and said to her, Did you answer the Prophet (pbuh) back and keep him angry until the night? She said, By Allah! We used to answer back what he said.

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]



    [1] Telling lies cannot be lawful in the general sense of the word. It means that one can pretend that he loves his wife in order to keep the ties of the marital life and to give himself another chance to cling to his wife and she to him.


    [2] One of the major themes that prevails the western mind is that Islam treats women as mere things. She has no right to take part in social, political or economic life. She may rather have no right to go outdoors.

    However, Islam still has so much to offer today’s woman: dignity, respect, and protection in all walks of life. A woman in Islam is as responsible as a man for populating the earth. Both of them have to work for the good of humanity. They will be questioned before the hands of Allah concerning that great role, let alone the responsibility of disseminating the word of Allah. Both husband and wife have equal important role in the family. These roles according to Islam, cannot be identical or the same but reciprocal and complementary. The wife-mother’s role which is bringing up the children and providing love, affection and warm gentle care for her family members, complements that of the husband who is breadwinner of the family and who provides protection from the external world. In Islam, husband­ wife relationship is governed by mutual understanding and mutual consultation over important problems. The wife in a Muslim family should be a tremendous source of strength to the husband in facing the hardships of life. The husband in turn should always be the firm shield that protects the wife from the hazards of life.



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